Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in Adam's LiveJournal:

Thursday, November 15th, 2001
1:15 pm	Funny They say time heals all wounds even the deepest of them But there are some emotional scars you cant A ceartin heartbreak i can never forget Loved anotherf who onced again dumped on me Still cant shake the feeling of one feeling more right than anything and it going wrong. Like it usually does in this what i like to call a prison within my own soul Current Mood: restless Current Music: Sober- Tool (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, November 5th, 2001
9:16 am	Like a flower i sit in the road My world forevor in this place I watch from the inside Movment Sliding forevor past me The feelings that i hold for one cannont be replaced The love i have will never be taken away But unwanted i sit unloved i cry uncared for i am Crushed by the fear of the one i love My outreach of love for her Unwanted, Untouched, Unloved My world no longer bright with the love that i thought i had now black with the darkness that will forevor be my life the dark where only i live, without care, without love. Unwanted is the flower that iam crushed by the one i loved. Current Mood: crushed Current Music: Moby-Porcliean (Comment on this)
Monday, October 29th, 2001
1:31 pm	Well, What a glorious glorious day today was. Ive come closer to capturing my prized possesion, Oh its a beautiful beautiful object which i desire. The heart of a woman. How close am I? Closer than yesterday but still its one step closer. Damn I love this one already! Ill say this she may not be perfect to someone else but to me shes perfect. Now id also like to add that im preatty protective so if someone decided it would be fun to fuck around with her, then it would be ok to fuck around with them. I dont play specilly when it comes to those that I love and care for. Anyways im really serious about this one, it may be the light at a very long and dark tunnel. Time will tell!!! Current Mood: happy Current Music: Red Hot Chillie Peppers-Californiactaion (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 28th, 2001
9:10 am	I dream up a little hope Just a step away from sorrow And I forgot why i even exists to live a life of pain? A peaceful serenity Not to be found anywhere else But does it dull the pain- Or bring on a little more? I ask a simple question To the dark dream deferred And can I still have nightmares, If I never really sleep? The richness implores The hole deep inside But what caused the hole's pressence In the first place? I just can't remember Everything seems to turn black As it reaches my mind Limitation is placed on all thoughts As they turn into dreams Dreams so dark black and desperate Sometimes I wonder if I'm even awake Maybe I'm not even alive Maybe I'm simply the dream of another But who's really to care? Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Breakdown-Tantric (Comment on this)
6:35 am	I needed to write today because i feel like im going crazy. Today has been a very very very bad day for me, Ive been manic since this morning and I feel so bad right now. I wish I had Kandice in my life more than she is, id do anything for it, it would make me feel great knowing that shed be there for me and love me for all that i am. But I don't have it and I don't know why but everytime i think of her I start to feel shitty. What is wrong with me? Why cant I just shake this and feel somewhat normal if there is such a thing anymore. Sometimes I believe that I was born on this earth to suffer. There has been nothing but suffering for the most part of my life, from the start of my brother dying, to my family becoming destroyed because of it, the fact that I cant commit to many things do to my own personal fears and demons, the fact that I developed into a Manic Depressive because of everyone I know not supporting me and leaving me to cope and handle myself in an unkind world. This pain that I live with I cant point to it, I cant understand why it is there, it lies within me, Deep, Hollow, and Cold. It touches me every moment of the day and no matter what I see or what I feel it is always there. Grasping my heart. I used to not believe in love at first sight till I saw Kandice, and she stole my entire world. All it took was one instant to look into her eyes and I would have given my soul to be with her. and the fact that I cant the fact that I have to wait while everyday this feeling becomes stronger and harder to cope with. When your in love alone it becomes a tormenting prison. One image can flash in my head that drives this feeling. I can see her on a couch looking at me as I look at her, her looking beautiful and me just wishing I could kiss her then and there. I used to protect my heart and my feelings with a brick wall, and in one instant Kandice made that wall come down with nothing more than a look from her. Ya know I know ive got it bad, she put on my hat and it intensified the feeling and when she gave me the hat back I closed my eyes and smelled her hair through it, and it smelled better than anything ive ever smelled. Ive got it that bad for this woman and the fact that I cant have her is ripping me into two. I just hope that this will finally be it, that i will one day open my eyes and see her face, smiling, her eyes gazing into mine and my world finally being complete "IM falling even more in love with you, letting go of all ive held onto, im standing here until you make me move im living by a moment with you" - lifehouse Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Incubus-Stellar (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 27th, 2001
9:59 am	Well, Im writing on this just to remind these thoughts in my head that im still listing, i still control thee with more power then you can control me. Your soilders with weapons of emotion can no longer penetrate the power for which i hold. Current Mood: high Current Music: Free Fallin- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 11th, 2001
12:40 pm	On the top of my head This is similar to a rant type of thing but whatever if im ripping anyone off then sit on your thumb and rotate. It seems that TV has lied to me once again, ive been going on and off to college for the past two years and so far the expierence has been extremely lacking. No their are no parties. WHERE in the bloody FUCK are the cute girls at, did I pick the most butt fucking ugly of schools to go to. All I see are ASAINS, ASIANS, ASIANS. I have no problem with Asians except it seems every Asian at UH wants to study and fuck around with other Asians. Too bad im an Italion, apparantly the only fucking one in Houston. Why is it, I read other peoples journlas and it appears that their having the time of their life at college when so far my fondest college expierence happens to be the time one of my classes was canceled. SO far im not diggin the college expierence seems like nothing but High school all over again with the same lame ass people. High school, now theirs a memory, I hated fucking high school with a passion. Everyone was a prick and i mean everyone. You had the cute popular girls who preatty much acted like High Class Hookers. You had the Jocks, who felt as though they were a bunch of Jesus Christ's playing football. And since i live in TX now one of my least favorite states, and i live in this fucker. The other thing my stupid ass state has is a bunch of punk ESA's running around my school acting like a bunch of godamn jack ass's. You know the ones with the flannel shirts with nothing but a top button buttoned, and belive it these fucking idiots got most of the girls in school. Im not even going to get into the true subject of woman, my life expierence with woman have been fucking terrible. They either use me, treat me like shit, or straight up ignore me. I fucking cant stand woman sometimes, i get to the point sometimes where i feel like slapping one across the face and making her fucking shut her godamn mouth. Woman are attracted to the dumbest, most obnoxious male they can find, and when they get their hearts broken and they come whining to me about how they hate their lives and how their so glad im their friend, what makes these woman think i want to be their fucking freind. FUCK FRIENDS ive got enough of them already. Remember when you little and you always thought your parents listend and cared about you? That misconception changes real fast. I know for a fact my parents dont listen and dont respect me. I also know my parents are not postive about a single thing i do. SO therefore ive come to the conclusion that im alone on this planet except for the few people who i can relate and open up to. Im so negative minded now that i get bitter and angered over others peoples good fourtane simply because it appears as i dont ever get any good fourtane. Im also extremely bitter. There will be days where ill wake up wishing that everyone on the entire planet was dead because then i wouldnt have to deal with their shit. I hate know it all's, they sicken me because all it is is an attempt to make themselves feel better by always claiming whatever they say and do is the right way, and nothings worse than a no it all who knows nothing and doesnt know it. I no longer believe in luck and love. Because ive never expierence either of them. Current Mood: cynical Current Music: Coldplay-Yellow (Comment on this)
11:59 am	WCW/nWo Halloween Havoc 1998 WCW/nWo Halloween Havoc "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan Vs Warrior My View: WWF, 1990, Wrestlemania VI. The world was anxious to see the first encounter between THEN in their prime Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior. WWF was running the match so you know it had to at least been planned out and promoted right. But no this isnt the WWF this time and no this isnt during their prime this is 8 years AFTER it. Hogan and Warrior face off in the ring much like they did in 1990, but somethings not right ah yes the fact that Warrior and Hogan forget the 3 actual moves combined that they know and punch, kick, eyerake and choke each other for the first 10 mins. Now after watching the first 10 mins of this horrible horrible match i was praying to god for a support beam to give way and bludgeon me so the pain would end, but OH NO it not only doesnt end but it takes a absurd and very humours turn. At one point in the match during the punch and kicking fest that Warrior and Hogan have given us, Hogan attempts to use a fireball. For those of you unaware about fireballs, its a tiny peice of paper that engulfs in flames with a great speed looking like a fireball. Undertaker used one in 97 to burn Paul Bearers face. Now Hogan is attempting this but instead of throwing this at Hogan. He lets it burn his hand with him flinging his arm wildly in Warrior's direction, who happens to be 3 feet away. The Warrior seeing this falls back like he got stunned by the fireball in Hogans hand and wanders around the ring for a few mins. Now on top of all of this, Tony Schivani are favorite schill makes the oddest sex sound ive ever heard during a commontary and on top of that he makes out the obvious blunder as one hell of a move. Ill give you time to catch your breath at this moment . . . . . After all of this, after a bunch of crappy punchs and kicks, after Hogan lighting his hand on fire, and Warrior selling FOR IT, we have Horace Hogan run out to the ring and hit Warrior with a belt or something of the like and Hogan gets the pin. SO, after 20 mins of one of the worst matchs ive seen it ends in a Hogan blunder and a make no sense finish, but then again barely anything made sense in WCW. My Match Rating: 3 out of 10 ( I give this match a 3 because, Hogan lighting his hand on fire and Warrior selling for something that didnt even hit him, and once again for no sign of Goldberg) Next Critique- Dusty Rhodes Vs Honky Tonk Man-Summerslam 1989 Whats on my TV-WWF Unforgiven 2000 Qoute of the Day- You got a guy like Kane saying that if he dont win the belt then hell light himself on fire, Well ive brought the marshmellows and the hot dogs, and you can bet your bottom dollar that if you big red ass starts to go out, that ol Stone Cold will throw another log on the fire!- Stone Cold Steve Austin Current Mood: content Current Music: Linkin Park - A Place for my Head (Comment on this)
Monday, October 8th, 2001
7:43 am	WCW/nWo Fall Brawl 1998 Well heres the deal, im going to post now twice a day. One will be what happened during my day, the other will be a crituqe on a match from a RAW, a Smackdown, or a PPV. It could be for the WWF, WCW, or ECW who knows, just something ive always planned on doing so here goes: WCW/nWo Fall Brawl 1998-Main Event: War Games Team: Hollywood (Stevie Ray, Bret Hitman Hart, Hollywood Hogan) Vs Team Wolfpack (Lex Luger, Sting, Kevin Nash) Vs Team WCW (Rowdy Roddy Piper, Warrior, DDP) The winner of this War Games match gets a title shot at the WCW Champion, Goldber, at Halloween Havoc 1998. My Views: Well this match started well enough with the cage lowering and the most annoying music ive heard in quite a long time (Besides X-pacs theme of course). If you take the elements for this match: Two rings and a cage surrounding both of them. If you take the talent, Hogan, Nash, Sting, DDP, Hart, Luger, and you take the premises. Nine men fighting each other for a chance at the world title. Youd think this would be a good match, but alas in true WCW fashion they screwed it up big time. Not only does no one know what their doing in this but their all standing around punching and kicking each other. Hell the only real wrestling move I see is a sleeper hold. Its bad enough as is until the lunatic himself makes his way to the ring. Yes thats right wrestling fans the Warrior. Ill set up the scene. Hollywood Hogan sneaks his way to the ring about a minute early and as he enters the ring he begans Slap Jacking everyone. Yes you heard me Slap Jacking.With everyone knocked out Hogan with Stevie Ray watching him do so, begans to leg drop Nash about 3 times. But instead of pinning him he stands around clapping his hands. Why are you asking is he not pinning him?` Why thats to set up one of the most retarded things to happen. With a billow of shooting smoke The warrior stands in the middle of the ring, beating his chest like the ape he is. Hogan and Stevie Ray began to beat him until yet again the billowing smoke shoots throughout the ring. With the smoke clearing the Warrior is gone and Hogan stands in the middle of the ring with a goofy look on his face. Then from the entrance runs the Warrior, and in the best schill Tony Schavoni does, he goes beserk as Warrior runs from the entrance way. Now I dont know what the hell all of that was about, and to this day it still makes no sense, The Warrior runs into the ring chases Hogan around, Beats Stevie up, and then chases Hogan to the back into the locker room. Now did any of that make any sense to you? Dont feel bad none of us understood it either. Anyways during all of this DDP Managed to Diamond Cut Stevie Ray(The only guy on his feet in the past 10 mins) and gets the cover. Now that was proably one of the worst matchs i have ever seen, but i was wrong until i saw the Warrior Vs Hogan II at Halloween Havoc 1998, but thats another crituqe. My Match Rating: 2 out of 10 (i give it a 2 because Warrior is in this match a short time and because Goldberg is no where in sight for it) Next Critique- Warrior Vs Hogan II-Halloween Havoc 1998 Whats on my TV- Star Trek next Generation(as i wait for RAW) Qoute of the Day- To be the man youve got to beat the man!- Ric Flair Current Mood: content Current Music: Jimmy Hendrix-Voodoo Child (Comment on this)
Friday, October 5th, 2001
2:50 pm	Friday-Oct 5th, 2001 Well, Today was actually another boring day with a few expcetions. Today started with me lying in bed looking at my movie posters and wondering i wonder what the hell today is gonna bring. It started simple enough. After rolling out of bed I crawled over to my DVD kingdom (trust me if you saw the mountain of them in the corner of my room youd agree) So i decide to watch the Matrix and after this i flip around and watch some scenes on Mummy Returns. Well after this i do my usally friday routine. I drive all the way down to Spring Texas and preatty much play Spellfire all night (a really boring DnD like card game) Anyways during all of this the guys house im over his wife preatty much parades around in a slutty little thing and preatty much tries to play with my head with sexual little innuendo games, but it doesnt affect me cuz frankly i dont find her attractive what so ever. Anyways its about 1 A.M. when I leave and on my way home i come to a street with no street lights what so ever so as i turn to go i suddnely relize im on the wrong side of the street and cars are coming at me so i veer off into the shoulder and drive through a field to get into the right side of the road. DAMN that was fucked up as i say this i can recall wondering why all these car light were heading toward me. Lucky enough their wasnt a cop in my presence. Anyways i get home and started writing on this bad boy. Oh and i finnaly did what ive been wanting too, to tell Ruth to quit the self pity shit and start living her life, hopefully things will go for the up and up and shell relize what i have. Your only on this earth once and your only here for a short time. If you dont enjoy yourself at all while your here then youve waisted it. Whats on my TV right now- Uncensored 1999 Qoute of the Day- Theirs a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.-Morpheus, The Matrix Current Mood: peaceful Current Music: Limp Bizkit-Counterfit (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 4th, 2001
12:32 pm	Top Ten Wrestler i wish were in a bottom of a ditch (Current) This ought to be really funny. Note the number 1 for all you poser mark fans!! 1) The Rock- This guy sucks ass for all the right reasons, his matchs are boring and really predictable, Rock comes in, kicks somebodys ass, get his ass kicked, pins em and leaves. Plus he makes up words i mean if you know what a Roody Poo is id sure as hell like to know. 2) X-Pac- He reminds me of a terd that just wont flush, he's stuck in 1998 and he wont leave and die. When i see X-Pac wrestler i head to the fridge or the John cuz i know i aint missin shit 3) Spike Dudley or The Little Show- God i hate this dumb ass, and please god someone tell him to change his tights. Big Show wears them cuz they dont make anything else in Blimp. Plus he reminds me of Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man but less apealing. 4) Saturn- Cross Eyed homosexual with a broom fetish thats all i need to say 5) Scotty 2 Hotty- If you consider the worm a wrestling move than you should be shot and stabbed. The worm is a retro 80's dance move and its a shitty one at that. I wish he worm his way right out of the WWF 6) K-Kwik- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH (breaths in) HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA and they even put him on WWF Vol 5 Well thats as many as i can get who are currently wrestling when i get around to doing my all time lists then youll see those I REALLY REALLY Hate Current Mood: amused Current Music: WWF Vol 5- Kurt Angle (Comment on this)
12:14 pm	Adam's TOP Ten Wrestlers (Current) This ought to intrest some 1) HHH- The game this guy kicks ass regardless if hes Heel, Face or what it doesnt affect me, He Is that DAMN GOOD!! The Ring General, The REAL peoples Champion 2) RVD- The whole F'N Show, Ive been a Rob Van Damn fan since 1996 and hes still kicking ass, I mean damn have you seen this guy wrestling. For those of you who only know RVD by his WWF tenure you need to check out his ECW stuff and thats for damn sure 3) Stone Cold Steve Austin- He's a bad ass S.O.B. Nuff Said, Plus he's taken the world title Twice off the Rock so he instantly gets the points 4) Kurt Angle- My Olympic Champion, The man who invented the Three I's a rule we should all live by. Kurt Angle Current WWF Champion, and Kurt Angle will always be kick ass. OH its True, Its True 5) Chris Benoit- The Crippler has been favorite of mine since his WCW days, I mean he may not have charisma or decent mike skills, but hes one BAD mamma jamma, and as far as im concerend the best technicle wrestler going today. 6) Y2J Chris Jericho- When he was running around WCW beating the hell out of all the WCW cruiserweight I was diggin him and since he got to WWF hes only gotten better. Iam a Jericholic since 1998 7) Chrisitan- When he was a part of the dynamic duo of E&C i loved the Tag Team but since they split Christian has turned out for the better. I mean he is raining Goldage. He Reeks of Awsomness. 8) Rhyno- The Manbeast just kicks major ass. i can see this guy getting into a main event picture real soon. Problem is I havent seen him Since Unforgiven when he won the US title - What up with Dat? GORE GORE GORE!!!! 9) Hurricane Helms- I never though this gimmick was going to work, but by damn if it hasnt and im enjoying it i mean LOL cmon fellow citizens he is a super hero not just in America, but in Europe as well. To the Hurracave 10) Test- I used to hate this guy, but now since hes joined the Alliance, hes bad ass im glad hes getting a push thats for damn sure and finnaly in a gimmick that works. Coming soon Top ten wrestlers I HATE Current Mood: amused Current Music: WWF Vol 5- HHH (Comment on this)
11:38 am	Shout Outs and whats on the mind . . . Well this being my firts post and all, the grammer is heading out the window . . . Im going to enjoy letting you into the world of ADAM , well today was a do nothing sit on my ass and watch TV kinda day, aside from getting my Stacy Kiebler Bra & Panties autograph I accomplished nothing as of today LOL. OH WELL. and after watching Smackdown i got on here and did this so that was my day . Preatty entertaining huh ??? Shout Outs: Well heres a list of shout outs to people who make a difference in my otherwise redundant life . . . 1) Justin: My Best Bro since day one, always been their for me and always will. (and for those of you who know me by LEVIATHAN in the Rping world be happy to know that Justin is Exodus) 2) Steve: Thanks for the hookups and being AoA Fodder but dont feel bad, at least you werent Dan Riggs LOL 3) Ruth Anne: My forevor Sweetie, always their to pick me up, and seduce me lol you know you do PIGTAILS!!! 4) Marvin: The Black version of me an almost exact copy Bitchy Mom included Theres proably a few people im forgetting and if i did remind me and ill add you later Whats on my TV right now: Office Space Qoute of the Day: One day while walking with some freind I accidently cut the cheese and in my 13 year old adolesence akwardness I blamed it on a old Gypsy woman near by, She cursed me upon my head "Because I smelt it I would forevor more Be HE WHO DEALT IT" - The Spleen, Mystery men Current Mood: lethargic Current Music: Kid Rock-Rollin (Comment on this)